The idea for finding your true identity comes from Revelation 2:17
"He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches: To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it."
This name represents who you ARE.
We can BEGIN the process of finding out who you ARE by looking at what gives you energy and what drains your energy.
The goal is to get about 80% of the way towards the two halves of your ARE.
Then over time you can focus in to determine it more specifically.
Eventually in Heaven, you will find out EXACTLY what it is and it will be represented by one name.
Examples of gains and drains are:
shopping, music, pets, sports, foods, hobbies, people, sex, solving problems, etc.
Examples of attrbutes covering gains are:
knoweldge, understanding, vision, quality, imagination, problem solving, etc.
Everyone was created to value justice, being right, and connecting. So you can't really have these as unique Spiritual ARE's.
Look at the list closely. One person gave the following four entries among their twenty:
"Reading a GOOD book"
"Spending QUALITY time with my kids"
"Doing an EXCELLENT job"
"Eating a PERFECT meal"
The capitalized words were underlined in his list. It looked like the underlined word was actually more important than the rest of the sentence. When this person realized they have a quality/excellence half of their ARE, it identified the source of their frustration with certain interactions they have had.
Another person had a list that included the following possible Spiritual ARE's:
getting ahead enough to have a buffer
The opposite of each would be:
ridicule or seriousness
disorganization or poor planning
doing just enough to get by
lack of completion or credit
When the drain list was examined, every example fit under ridicule/seriousness and people doing just enough to get by.
This person needed to do everything beyond what was required SO THAT they could take time to be silly and fun.