There are many exercises that are mentioned in the book to determine your ARE. The most effective one is to make a "gains" and "drains" list.
First, list 20 activities that result in you gaining energy.
NOTE: This is not a preference list. Every entry on this list must result in you gaining energy in the Long Term. If you don't always end up gaining energy in the Long Term after doing the activity, it shouldn't be on your gain list.
Next, list 20 activites that result in you losing energy.
AGAIN, this not a preference list. Every entry on this list must be an energy drain to you.
Once you have both lists, look at the gain list and determine four possible attributes that together can cover all the gains. For examples, please click here.
It helps to be specific about why each entry is a gain or drain. For instance, if you write "tennis" as a gain, be specific as to why and how it is a gain.
Is it singles or doubles tennis?
Do you need to keep score?
Do you need to win?
How would you describe your ideal tennis experience?
When you have four attributes, take a moment and come up with the opposite of each. What would it look like to be prevented from experiencing each attribute?
Finally, look at the drain list.
What tends to happen is that the drain list contains examples that match the opposite of two of the gain attributes.
These are the starting point for your two spritual ARE's.
Over time, you will be able to become more specific with each.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE contact me with your gains and drains if you want help!!!!! I believe this is the most profitable exercise you will ever do in your life. Send me an e-mail or just put a comment at the end of this post. It will send me an e-mail and I will get back to you.
I have found that people are unique. Each person takes in and gives out information in a specific way. When people operate apart from the way they are made, they have little energy and become depressed. When people believe they will never be able to operate they way they were made, they become suicidal.
Individuals tend to make friends with people who take in information similar to the way the individual was made to give out information and with people who give out information similar to the way the the individual was made to take in information.
The way the person was made is the ARE.
This ability to have profitable interactions with others appears random because the individual doesn't know the cause. However, when people determine who they ARE, they can intentionally choose to modify their behavior in order to be profitable with others. They can determine if the behavior they need to modify is against the way they were made (ARE) or not. Understanding who God made you to be allows you to intentionally become more profitable.
This is truly a life changing exercise...